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Effective tactics for dealing with an undisciplined child

Talking with our youth, especially with an undisciplined child, can sometimes be a difficult task. We feel that they are not obeying our well-intentioned instructions; however, they feel that we are not showing them the expected understanding.

Good listening and corresponding understanding are the basis for successful child rearing. Your young child’s emotions, especially the perspectives and conclusions of the undisciplined child, are valuable, and you should make sure to set aside the opportunity to sit down and listen and speak frankly.

This is, by all accounts, a characteristic tendency to react rather than respond to the child’s demand for attention. We condemn this undisciplined child in the light of our own feelings and encounters. In any case, responding to him/her implies being sensitive to our child’s feelings and sensations and allowing him/her to communicate transparently and sincerely without fear of repercussions on our part.

By responding, however, we are sending a message to our child that his feelings and evaluations are not valid. In any case, by reacting and learning about why the child is feeling the way he is feeling, we open a discourse that allows him to talk more about his emotions and allows you to better understand the position he is holding.

As well, responding gives you the opportunity to find an answer or activity arrangement with your child that he or she might not have been able to concoct on their own. Your child will also appreciate your interest in knowing how he or she feels.

In these circumstances, it is important to give your child your full attention by putting down your daily journal, stopping doing the dishes or turning off the television so that you can listen to the whole story and talk with him or her face-to-face. Resist the urge to panic, be curious and, a little later, suggest potential answers to the problem at hand.

Try not to discourage your child, especially the undisciplined child, from becoming angry, upset or confused. Our underlying nature may be to discourage our child from doing what he or she intends to do, but this strategy can be ineffective. Once again, be attentive to your child, ask questions to find out why he or she feels this way, and then offer potential answers to discourage any terrible inclination.

Like us, our young people have emotions and have experienced difficult circumstances. By consciously listening and taking an interest in what they are saying, we show them that we care about them, that we are willing to help them, and that we ourselves have similar experiences from which they can benefit.

Keep in mind, respond instead. It’s much more beneficial for the parents and the child.